“Here Comes De Judge” (or The story of My Ego)

The other day I was listening to a member of the AA fellowship discuss her encounter with an anonymous someone who had only been to several meetings. The someone wondered “how she did it” – meaning how my friend worked the AA Program and stayed sober. As my friend related the incident, she was struck by all the negative exclusions her questioner had at her fingertips. She related the standard AA directions to the newcomer: “If you want what we have, do what we do.” Then she reminded her of the 5 or 6 standard-issue suggestions of the Program: Go to meetings, Don’t drink, Get a sponsor, Pray, Work the Steps, and when tempted, Call someone – anyone – in the Fellowship.

The newcomer had responses to every suggestion explaining why she couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t work the Program like everyone else. She was too busy at home and at work. She was too involved with her church activities. It was suggested she pray first thing in the morning and read one of the steps in AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. “I’m not a morning person,” she said.

Turns out she wasn’t an afternoon person, an evening person or a night person either.

She was afraid that working the Steps would conflict with her Christian beliefs. She was afraid that the bottom she believed she had hit, wasn’t bad enough to warrant her having to knuckle-down and really concentrate on AA’s “standard, run-of-the-mill” suggestions for achieving sobriety. “Why can’t I simply read through the Steps until I think I understand them? Why do I have to do a moral inventory, discuss it with someone, and eventually make amends to those I have wronged – when I really don’t think I truly wronged anyone anyway?”

I’ve heard many similar excuses before as well – as a sponsor in AA, in listening to why people believe they cannot adopt the principles of A Course in Miracles (ACIM), hearing folks make all kinds of excuses as to why they cannot begin reducing their carbon footprint or begin adopting the principles of the Simplicity Movement, and so on. In almost every case the people appear to want what they think I have, but they have all the excuses and distractions that make implementing my suggestions impossible for them.

Their actions seem to indicate they want to remain exclusively unique.

All of this got me to thinking about my ego’s use of exclusivity as one of its primary defense mechanisms. Exclusivity, exclusionism, and uniqueness lead to thoughts like: Things just don’t seem to apply to me; I’m different; My circumstances are different; I‘m unique.

Then I remember, as an active alcoholic, I almost died from a very severe case of “terminal” uniqueness. I also remember, as I began to get sober by following the suggested AA program of recovery, what a wonderful relief it was to simply identify myself as “one of the herd – a very ordinary recovering alcoholic.” Nothing special. Nothing unique about that.

That shift in my thought-process has saved my life, although I still haven’t fully realized how profound that shift actually was. I’m still learning.

The damning thing about my ego’s desire to be unique is its very subtle insistence on judging, comparing, and criticizing. As long as my ego can continue to push my uniqueness button, I will remain believing in my (and your) separateness. That’s a killer to my spiritual growth and development. That’s what’s so damning about my ego.

For me the way I try to control my ego’s desire to judge is to focus on not using the words “should,” “could,” “would,” “ought,” and “ …, but.” Many I know, if they could not use those words, would have little to say.

You know what I “would” do if I were you?
Have you ever thought you “should” try this?
What you say makes a lot of sense, “but” for me, the situation….
My life ”would” have been so much better if only I “could” have understood the implications of ….
Do you know what I think you really “ought” to do?
Most of these judging words come in the form of un-requested advice, and I have to remember that un-asked-for advice is generally translated by the hearer as criticism. Criticism is judging. I do it all the time, and it makes no difference if I am carrying on an actual conversation with someone or whether the conversation exists only in my head. It’s all the same to the universe. I am judging. And when I judge, I have become separate from you. I am different from you. I am unique, which has no place for you. We are different individuals.

As long as I believe I am truly separate, my ego is in control and my spirit suffers. When I feel separated from you my spiritual growth comes to a grinding halt and I stagnate. After a while a stagnant spiritual life, just like stagnant water in a pond, begins to smell.

The ability to not judge and the ability to forgive are very closely related. AA says simply, “The easiest way to learn to forgive is simply to learn to not blame in the first place.” Similarly, ACIM outlines 3 steps to forgiveness: 1) I forgive the projected perception of you I have created in my mind; 2) I forgive myself for creating this perception; and 3) I ask the Holy spirit to give me another way of seeing this situation without judgment, and then I still my mind and listen for His whispers of Truth.

So I try very diligently to stay away from “should,” “could,” “would,” “ought,” and “…, but.”

Thanks for listening and, as always, please share this message with my blessings.

Don
#1 March, 2012


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Donald O'Dell
www.DonODell.com

The Certainty of Faith – Mine or God’s?

To use biblical scripture as a literal instruction manual for life, so we think we are "properly" understanding what God wants us to do, is to search for the "certainty of faith."


Constantly, I need to remind my Self (my True Self, that is) that my desire for certainty is the handmaiden of Fear. Fear and its desire for certainty is totally of my ego and is the opposite of Faith, love and acceptance.


True certainty comes from the realities of one's continuing transformation – the occurrence of what A Course in Miracles calls "A Holy Instant." These occurrences, for me, have always involved those special times when in spite of all the loud monkey-mind chatter in my head, I am suddenly tuned into the quiet whisper of the Holy Spirit. I can’t explain it any better than that. I cannot predict its occurrence. I cannot conjure it up at will. I can’t make it happen when I want. Sometimes, I can meditate to still my mind and nothing happens. Sometimes I get very serene during a meditation, but no “…still, small voice” from Spirit speaks to me. Then, while reading a novel or article – BOOM! – a thought pops into my focus from out of nowhere. It is a magical, cherished moment when that occurs.


I asked a dear spiritual mentor I knew and respected a great deal. She was like a mother to me. She’s passed on now. “Margaret, how can you tell if this small whisper is Spirit or just your own ego?” She told me (and I can still hear her strong Irish brogue), “Donnie, you just learn to recognize Spirit’s voice after a while.” She was right. I do.


An egocentric certainty comes, for me, from the construction of an airtight set of intellectual, rational beliefs about something – a set of ideas, a situation, an interpretation or perception of events. These cerebral constructs usually take the form of doctrine, dogma, cultural mores, selected remembrances from my upbringing, and other similar personal guiding principles.
In times of overwhelming fear, I have noticed how people seem to gravitate to slogans or catch-phrases that provide very simple solutions to very complex problems. Simple solutions, such as: "America – love it or leave it;" "I don't trust the liberal media;" "God helps those who help themselves;" “Jesus called – He wants His religion back;” "Get big government off our backs;" "I have a PBS mind in a Fox News world;" "The 10 Commandments are not multiple choice." What's good for business is good for the USA;" "The Bible said it. I believe it. That’s all there is to it." and others.


During these times of fear mongering, slogans and catch-phrases appear to be wonderfully comforting. That’s why, in my opinion, politicians have become so adept at speaking in sound bites – 20-second blurbs that “seem” to convey truth and wisdom. They both sate our fears and reinforce their realities at the same time. It is very insidious and very powerful.


These slogans, many of which are very creative, both feed into and are bolstered by an us-versus-them mentality, which is the classic mentality of fearfulness. This mentality always will lead to some form of "my problem is 'out there,' and if only those folks would shape up, my problems would go away."


Our country's been through this so many times. Initially, it was the “savage” Indians. Then the Catholics or Papists were the fall guys. Then it was the Jews. Then the Irish, the Italians, the Blacks, the Hispanics, the Communists. Now, it's immigrants or Muslims.


If a politician, business interest, Cause, or Movement can keep me focused on some specific “out there” as either the source of my problem or the source of my solution, then that Cause or politician will have my vote for a long time. The politician knows this, as does the business interest, the Cause or the Movement. Hence, the 20-second sound bite.


Just ask any Republican almost any question and the answer is “shrink government and reduce taxes.” Ask any Democrat almost any question and the answer is “we are the government and we must always watch out for the little guy.”


In the novel, Foucault’s Pendulum by Umberto Eco (Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Publishers, 1989, Page 317) there is a succinct description of how we try to find simple solutions to complex issues. “…if you want a more down-to-earth explanation, it’s like the story of the man with a bad stammer who complains that the radio station wouldn’t hire him as an announcer because he didn’t carry a party card. We always have to blame our failures on somebody else, and dictatorships always need an external enemy to bind their followers together. As the man said, for every complex problem, there’s a simple solution, and it’s wrong.”


When I catch myself feeling a real need for certainty, I try to ask myself questions, such as:
Isn't the problem really much more complicated than this solution?
Do I believe this slogan because it makes me feel I am right? Or more correct? Or smarter? Or more secure? Or more spiritual? Or more sophisticated?
Do I feel better reciting this slogan because it enables me to pinpoint my fear, which, in turn, helps me believe there are some rational solutions that will make the issue (and my fear) go away?
If I focus on question one, then I begin to understand that my fear (or my desire for certainty of faith) is really an inside job. The issue is “me” not someone or something “out there.” If I focus on questions two or three, then I have erred again – projecting my fear on someone or something outside of me and looking for someone or something out there that will make it all better.


I know better than to do that. But sometimes "knowing better" just isn't enough, is it? I guess that’s why the goal is for me to be on a spiritual journey instead of arriving at a spiritual destination.


Thanks for listening and, as always, I hope you forward this. In fact I would be honored if you did.


Don
#4 January, 2012




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Donald O'Dell
http://www.DonODell.com

Adama from Lemuria - message on 2012

Dear Children of Divine Glory I salute you. 

I Am your brother Adama

This historical period that you are currently living on earth is crucial for each one of you. You are presently at the crossroads of all possibilities. 

Your inner choices for yourselves and your planet will determine your future. These choices are the choices you make every day of your life. The choice you believe in and all these choices that dictate each of your actions, of your words, and that you contribute to creation around you.

2012 will be a year of manifestation, and the reflection that each individual on the planet nourishes and entertains in his heart.

And so my beloved children, in this new year now at our doorstep, I am wishing the awakening of this light, of these energies that have never forgotten the essence of their true nature.

I also wish you will greet with unconditional love and absolute trust, all the changes that are shaping up at the horizon. These changes are bringing you Freedom. Welcome them all with total and confident abandon.

I am telling you, this period is historic. The new Earth will be your creation. Dare to believe in the magic of Life. Dare to dream with us this new world of peace and joy for each person on this earth.
I am conveying the profound and truthful love of your brothers and sisters of Telos. Our heart is filled with gratitude and we celebrate your victory.

I Am Adama,
the one accompanying you on the road to the return of True Life.


Demise, Telos Foundation, http://www.telosinfo.org